Perhaps it was because I had to rinse the ants off my toothbrush before I brushed my teeth, but today, I am having one of those days when I'd rather not be living here. There I said it. The ugly little truth that I hate to admit.
It is one of those days when I wish we had a park nearby that had green grass to sit on and trails to hike.
It is one of those days when I wish we had a public library with heaps of books to borrow.
It is one of those days when I wish I could grab a 'real' bagel to eat.
It is one of those days when I wish that I didn't live here.
Yet, I do live here. So, then what? In times like this, I need to make a list (sometimes physically writing it down) of things I am thankful for related to living here. For example: the freedom my kids have to play freely in the neighborhood with the gang of kids that live here too, the cross-cultural experiences we have all had that change who we are for the better, the way the hard stuff rubs against me and makes me into a smoother, shinier example of God's love and mercy, the privilege of witnessing the beauty of tropical creation (not including, perhaps, the vast variety of ants).
And still, I want parks, books, and bagels. And so the tension begins again....the tension between the 'good' and the 'ugly' of living outside your home culture.
***[Interestingly, I have had to wait to post this for several hours because a transformer blew, not once, but twice this afternoon. We were without power for about 3 hours...which really isn't bad at all. Except that the power outage happened over dinner time. So, we prepped dinner by lantern light and grilled pizza in the propane grill on the porch.]