A few days ago, I posted on FB about 'all things pumpkin spice'. I found these pumpkin spice flavored Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies that made clean eating' a forgotten concept. The whole 'pumpkin spice' industry went gangbusters while we lived in Nicaragua where Autumn doesn't exist. So this fall is the first time we experience the full force of the 'pumpkin spice movement.'
So what does pumpkin spice have to do with guilt?
Well, after I posted on FB, one of my friends in Nicaragua replied, in good humor, to my post. Reminding me how 'those on the other side feel about posts such as these.' ENTER GUILT.
It was then that I realized that I am hovering between two worlds--the one I left in January and the one I now find myself in currently. In that first year of living in Nicaragua, I remember making the analogy of a trapeze artist. I had let go of one swing in the U.S. but had not yet grabbed fully onto the next swing in Nicaragua. Now, I find myself on that trapeze again. I have let go of the Nicaraguan swing and I have, perhaps, grabbed hold of the U.S. swing. But I am still hanging there--swinging back and forth. I feel suspended, in a way, between the two worlds--the world of pumpkin spice and the world without autumn. It is an interesting and conflicting place to hang. See, it is when you swing here in the 'in between' that things like pumpkin spice cookies take on a whole new meaning and weight.
Perhaps, for the general public reading this post, it seems I am over-processing this whole pumpkin spice thing. Perhaps, it is a re-entry thing. Perhaps, it is again one of those things that can't be explained outside the world of those who have lived and returned from serving cross-culturally.
Either way, it will probably be a while before the 'special treats' of the seasons here in this world get taken for granted in our home. After all, eggnog isn't on the shelves yet!