Monday, January 2, 2012

I Resolve to...

I (Jeff) don't like to make resolutions. The self-righteous part of me will tell you that I don't like them because I don't want to risk breaking my word and so I will just "let my yes be yes, and my no be no". However, closer to the truth is probably that I don't want to fail at something. If I don't resolve, then I can't fail. Good sound logic. Good plan.

Well, I am going to go against my fail-safe plan and make a resolution. It is a subjective resolution so I am still safe because failure can't be measured if the resolution is subjective. I still have sound logic. Good plan.

Here it is...I resolve to be more honest in blogging. There I said it. So now you are asking..."have you been lying in your blogging?" Well, yes and no. No, because I believe everything presented has been truthful. And yes, becuase there has been so much more that I wanted to share and didn't. I can think of at least 2 reasons why I hold back:

First because I like nice neat little packages. If I have a mental "can of worms" on a subject, and there is no lid in sight, then I am not going to mention cans or worms. I just don't like to bring up a problem until I have at least one viable solution or answer. This plays out in my blogging, in that I do not like to bring up messy things like wealth, natural disasters, racism, or the sovereignty of God unless I have a well threaded lid to put on it at the end. The reality is that I don't have the wisdom to have the answers to all of these things. So then , my new resolution is to open some cans of worms without lids in sight, and if my audience has the wisdom to offer me some lids, I will gladly accept.

Secondly, due to my varied audience, I tend to not share all that is on my mind. I am a hard-wired people-pleaser, and so I try to be ultra careful that my words will not offend anyone that could possibly read this blog. The problem is that our readers include: family, mentors, strangers, Americans, Nicaraguans, supervisors...really the whole world and so the opportunity to be misunderstood is vast. I resolve to take the risk of being misunderstood...at least until the first person writes back saying that they were displeased with something I wrote. When that happens, I will have a good cry, break my resolution and wait for next year.