I'm not good at waiting. Seriously. I get impatient waiting for fast food. If I have something that needs be returned at a store, I will go back to the store the same day I bought the wrong thing just to return it because I despise waiting for a more convenient time. I am incredibly impatient. Pitiful, I know. I suppose there is great humor on God's part in sending me to a developing country where time is defined quite differently. I am getting the sense from the Holy Spirit that this "waiting thing" is something that God is desiring to teach me in this season of cultural learning and adjustment. There are many things we need to "wait for": a car, a clear sense of where the Lord wants us to send our kids to school, our 'own' home, Nica residency, the ability to really communicate in Spanish...the list could go on and on. I was recently convicted by Isaiah 30:18 which states:
"So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help."
That last part really got me. I was further convicted by the personal musings on the blog Heavenward by Scotty Smith in which Jeff is subsribed and receives daily. The following statement from this blog really struck me--"I repent of trying to be my own savior, again. I repent of thinking too much and praying too little." Dang, thinking too much and praying too little. Yup, that would be me. I fail to wait for help from the Lord and think too much about how I can get what I want when I want it. I desperately need to learn to be patient and allow God to help in God's timing. Not to mention, that the verse in Isaiah says that the Lord must wait for me to come to him, so he can show me His love and compassion. So the longer I pace back and forth trying to think myself into a better position or solution, the longer I actually delay the blessing of God's love, compassion and help.
I don't want to make the Lord wait on me. I want to learn to wait on Him.